some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
