my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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