my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
