would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
