3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
