Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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