Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
