I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
