How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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