he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
this beer tastes like vomit already
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
