So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
