Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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