Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
