Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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