I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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