lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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