Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Found the puke drawer
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
