its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
