either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
