Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
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