Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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