I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
