Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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