I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
