so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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