My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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