I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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