pop tarts are not kleenex
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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