I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
