But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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