she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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