Betty ford says i'm here all night
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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