I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
