Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
