A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
