Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
