Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
