I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
