Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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