I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
