My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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