It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I got inside last night via doggy door
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
