Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
