:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
