Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
