It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
