i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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