i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
