it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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