therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
