What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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